As Prince leaves Milwaukee, bubble bursts on saturated fried cheese industry
“I was doing 30, maybe 40 grand, per week in sales—mostly to Prince," Fried Cheese Please owner Tony Capanelli. "Then Prince left. Now I get maybe two or three old guys coming in here once a week. I just can’t keep the lights on.”
Fielder chooses to emulate Detroit by taking their money as his body falls into...
Newly signed Tiger Prince Fielder has promised the city of Detroit that he will do them proud by taking their money and rapidly decaying into an obese, ineffective eyesore before their very eyes over the nine years of his $214 million contract.
Tigers sign Prince and immediately seek federal government bailout
“We’re pleased as punch to have Prince here!” said an elated Dombrowski. “However, I do want him to know he may be taking cold showers in our clubhouse, and riding a rented 1987 Greyhound bus when we travel to Tampa--at least until Uncle Sam pulls through!"
Tigers sign 285-pound albatross
"Anytime you can get a talent like Prince, you go out and do it," said Tigers manager Jim Leyland. "Sure, his rotund frame might break down in three or four years, but I'll be long retired by then anyway."
Banks closed in Wisconsin in mourning of tragic Packers loss
“Nobody saw this coming, and we’re all still a little shocked and saddened by how badly our team choked. Since there’s nothing else to do in Wisconsin besides root for the Packers, I’m really glad the governor decided to name today an official day of mourning by closing all the banks, and giving our kids the day off of school.”
State of Wisconsin declares itself atheist after second crushing Hail Mary pass
In the wake of Sunday’s 37-20 Green Bay loss to the Giants and on the eve of his election recall deadline, Wisconsin Governor Scott Walker declared his state officially atheist, mainly because the Packer loss was fueled by a 37-yard Hail Mary TD pass from Eli Manning to Hakeem Nicks to close out the first half.
