Disappointed in lack of good Wisconsin roosters, Ramirez to start cow fighting ring
Just days after news leaked that star left fielder Ryan Braun tested positive for heightened levels of synthetic testosterone, the Brewers are facing another PR nightmare as newly signed third baseman Aramis Ramirez announced plans to begin training and fighting cows during the off-season.
Brewers sign Aramis, will make Italian Sausage his personal pinch-runner
"Italian will be Ramirez's personal pinch-runner," said Brewers GM Doug Melvin. "Aramis was very clear that he doesn't want to run at full speed during his tenure, and Italian is way faster than him anyway."
Ryan Braun’s failed drug test caused by ink from his awful shirts
"Unfortunately, the ink in my Remetee shirts has proved to be laced with HGH and other performance-enhancing drugs," said Braun. "We were only going for fashion-enhancing chemicals, but I guess the science guys mixed up the formula or whatever ... then it seeped into my skin ... and, uh ... I gotta go!"
Ryan Braun busted for PEDs: Let’s hear your headline ideas
Anyone with an internet or cable connection knows by now that Brewers MVP outfielder/restauranteur/douchey T-shirt salesman Ryan Braun reportedly failed a drug test this fall. It's huge news and we're giving you a chance to give us your take on what the headline should be. Simply write it in the comments box below this post or email it to theheckler@theheckler.com. The best headlines might wind up as a Heckler article and we'll give you full credit so fire away.
Sveum leaves trail of pizza bites from Fielder’s locker to Wrigley
With the announcement that Dale Sveum will become the new Cubs manager, many fans were left wondering exactly what it is the former Brewers hitting coach has that caught the eye of Theo Epstein and Jed Hoyer. At today's press conference, the only conditions of Sveum's hiring were revealed.
Guy who wasn’t good enough to manage Brewers apparently good enough to manage Cubs
Dale Sveum managed the Brewers for the final 12 games of 2008 and helped them secure their first playoff berth since 1982, but that wasn’t good enough for Milwaukee, who refused to bring Sveum back as skipper for 2009. Now word is that the Cubs have made an offer to Sveum for their managerial vacancy.
Embarrassed Brewers admit Craig Counsell made playoff roster due to clerical error
The Milwaukee Brewers issued a statement following their 8-1 NLDS Game 3 loss to Arizona that attributed the presence of Craig Counsell on the team's playoff roster to an unfortunate clerical error.
