Packers

After more than 90 years in the NFL, the Green Bay Packers were proud to celebrate a new tradition last month when 29-year-old fan Bob Glokowski became their first fan to earn a degree following 15 semesters at a local community college.

“I am just trying to protect what is rightfully my intellectual property,” Rodgers said. “I have some other great ideas I'll give to the WWE, free of charge. How about when a championship changes hands, the new champ throws chalk in the air with his arms spread wide? Cool, right? My idea.”

Government officials in Wisconsin Monday morning proudly announced their women's shelters were "virtually empty" after the state experienced perhaps its best sports weekend of all time.

Sunday's Bears-Packers game is getting the A-team treatment from Fox, meaning 81 percent of the country will be tuning into Joe Buck and Troy Aikman's call. While we would never predict a winner or score of a game, unless it were for wagering purposes, one thing is certain: The same old tired cliches, worn-out subjects and visuals will be on full display in this "storied rivalry" (there's a freebie right there). Print out and play along!

"I've seen people wearing shirts that say Jesus hates both the Packers and the Bears, so I consulted His Holiness for clarification in my prayers this morning," said O'Malley. "Through His graciousness and kindness, Jesus replied to me that it's the Packers, not the Bears, that bear the weight of his scorn and hatred."

Green Bay linebacker Clay Matthews has announced that on Sunday, for the second time in his life, he will braid his hair into pigtails. The previous braiding was done for some glamour shots he took back in college.

Green Bay native Lenny Jensen briefly despised something more than the Chicago Bears this morning when he logged onto Facebook for the first time since its latest redesign.