St. Louis Cardinals

The former Cub is looking forward to playing and making outs on the basepaths for the Cardinals this year.

Do something worthwhile with your time at work today: Enter The Heckler's First-Ever Albert Pujols Photoshop Contest. Submit as many images as you'd like and if one of yours is picked as the best by our esteemed audience, you'll win a pair of tickets to a 2011 Cubs-Cards game at Wrigley. Seriously. Click the link and give it a shot.

Cardinals megastar 1B Albert Pujols is reportedly seeking a 10-year, $300 million contract after his current deal expires after this season. That's a lot of cash, especially for a smaller market like St. Louis. But Cubs GM Jim Hendry thinks he can scrounge up the money, even if the decision is based solely out of spite for former Cubs infielder Ryan Theriot.

Early Thursday morning, St. Louis Cardinals manager Tony La Russa was found asleep at the wheel by Jupiter, Fla., police. The policeman smelled alcohol and ordered the skipper of the reigning World Series champs to complete a field sobriety test. Always the strategist, La Russa tried to get out of the jam by performing two pitching changes.

JULY 15, PITTSBURGH PIRATES @ CHICAGO CUBS, WRIGLEY FIELD Things went so bad for the Pirates that even Jerry Hairston Jr. contributed to the onslaught with a grand slam (albeit off the foul pole), and then got into a heated, bench-clearing exchange with Pirate reliever Jose Mesa after his next at-bat. Of course, 39,000 suburban frat guys home for the summer left happy after the Cubs' 11-1 win, many of them singing the world’s most annoying tune. I’d appreciate the song much more if the lyrics "Go Cubs go! Go Cubs go!" were a command relating to the franchise’s geographic location. Chicagoans: There’s only room for one playoff team in this town, and we all know who it is in 2005.