Twins

In an effort to speed up the game, MLB officials have shaken things up by implementing a new rule where each pitcher has to throw for at least nine full innings.

In a sly move by the White Sox biggest rival, the Twins tricked the South Siders into signing a 14-year-old girl sharing the same name as reliever Jesse Crain for $13 million over the next three seasons. The Twins resigned the real Jesse Crain for considerably cheaper.

Ron Gardenhire was named 2010 AL Manager of the Year Wednesday, marking the first time since 2002 the Twins skipper has won anything after the conclusion of the regular season.

Slick-fielding and slick-haired Joe Crede will be picking at third base for the Minnesota Twins next season, according to a Major League source.

JULY 15, PITTSBURGH PIRATES @ CHICAGO CUBS, WRIGLEY FIELD Things went so bad for the Pirates that even Jerry Hairston Jr. contributed to the onslaught with a grand slam (albeit off the foul pole), and then got into a heated, bench-clearing exchange with Pirate reliever Jose Mesa after his next at-bat. Of course, 39,000 suburban frat guys home for the summer left happy after the Cubs' 11-1 win, many of them singing the world’s most annoying tune. I’d appreciate the song much more if the lyrics "Go Cubs go! Go Cubs go!" were a command relating to the franchise’s geographic location. Chicagoans: There’s only room for one playoff team in this town, and we all know who it is in 2005.