Michigan

“I thought presenting that much food in front of such a plus-sized man was foolproof,” said Epstein. “Apparently Detroit offered him a car made out of butter or something instead.”

"I guess people in Tuscany must be like 80 pounds or something," he said. "That's the only explanation for these tiny booths and portions fit for a child. I don't care if the waiters are wearing ties or the doorways are arched -- I want more damn cheese-covered noodles."

An Inge family friend has disclosed that for the eighth consecutive year Brandon Inge was the highest-rated player and top pick in the Inge family fantasy baseball league for 2012.

The Detroit Tigers defeated the Chicago Cubs in seven games. The Curse of the Billy Goat was placed on the Cubs before the start of Game 4, when Cubs fan Billy Sianis was asked to leave the stadium because his pet goat's odor was offending nearby fans.

Pistons president and GM Joe Dumars reportedly held a private meeting with the team after a Saturday's ugly loss to Memphis where he threatened players with a return to "those hideous teal uniforms with farting horsey if you don't start showing some hustle" referring to the unpopular uniforms from 1996 to 2001.

A magistrate at the 36th District Court in Detroit ordered the local newspapers, TV Guide magazine and cable providers to update their channel guides after a petition signed by fans was brought to small claims. The petition argued that it was fraudulent to use the term "NBA Basketball" to describe the the kind of programming viewers saw when the Pistons lost by 17 to Memphis Saturday night.

Loyal Tigers fan and outspoken Brandon Inge critic Lesley "Les" Kowalski is running an ad in the classifieds looking for fans who have sat in section 216 of Comerica Park from 2004 to 2011 to validate his claim that he was the first to publicly denounce the once popular player.