Tigers

“For the safety of our residents, we have closed all Chicago bars and alcohol-serving restaurants in the anticipation of Miguel Cabrera in town,” said Emanuel. "This city is in enough trouble as it is. We can't risk the sort of physical damage an intoxicated Cabrera could do after another late-night bender."

When he's not giving up multiple runs in first few innings of a game like he did this weekend, Sox starting pitcher Jose Contreras, who turns 100 this year, is working on an autobiography that dozens of baseball fans are looking forward to reading.

After receiving a daily dose of home cooking from manager Dusty Baker when he was with the Cubs, journeyman Neifi Perez got a taste of humble pie when he was shipped to Detroit at last year's trade deadline, batting a paltry .200 in 21 games with the Tigers.

JULY 15, PITTSBURGH PIRATES @ CHICAGO CUBS, WRIGLEY FIELD Things went so bad for the Pirates that even Jerry Hairston Jr. contributed to the onslaught with a grand slam (albeit off the foul pole), and then got into a heated, bench-clearing exchange with Pirate reliever Jose Mesa after his next at-bat. Of course, 39,000 suburban frat guys home for the summer left happy after the Cubs' 11-1 win, many of them singing the world’s most annoying tune. I’d appreciate the song much more if the lyrics "Go Cubs go! Go Cubs go!" were a command relating to the franchise’s geographic location. Chicagoans: There’s only room for one playoff team in this town, and we all know who it is in 2005.