Tigers

The move was made shortly after Major League Baseball moved game 4 of the ALCS to Thursday because of rain without a single drop of rain falling on Comerica Park.

In a startling development that could derail the Tigers run for the World Series, half of the team has been diagnosed with emphysema, the result of being exposed to second-hand smoke from manager Jim Leyland who can go through eight to 10 packs of cigarettes per game, sometimes more if it's a tight contest.

Tigers third baseman Miguel Cabrera, weighing in at approximately 425 pounds, is close to becoming the first MLB player to win baseball's Triple Crown since Carl Yastrzemski did it in 1967.

Barely a week ago the White Sox had a three-game lead over the Tigers in the AL Central, but the South Siders have hit the skids and that somewhat commanding lead has quickly evaporated into a tie atop the standings, much to the surprising glee of several Chicago players.

With the Tigers and White Sox both sputtering down the stretch, a noted sports psychologist believes both teams are subconsciously tanking out of sympathy for the third-place and mathematically eliminated Royals, who have not made the postseason since 1985.

Tigers first baseman Prince Fielder recently met with a Detroit Free Press lifestyles editor in his new Metro Detroit home. Although he's adjusting to life with his generous new contract and is looking forward to putting up some big numbers, his focus is still on a goal he's dreamed about since early childhood.

After being arrested in New York last week for allegedly yelling hate speech and attacking a group of tourists, Tigers outfielder Delmon Young said at a press conference Monday morning he was actually yelling "I hate to lose!"