Pistons

Detroit Pistons owner Tom Gores announced that he has pawned the team to American Jewelry & Loan, the Detroit pawn shop owned by Les Gold.

Pistons president and GM Joe Dumars reportedly held a private meeting with the team after a Saturday's ugly loss to Memphis where he threatened players with a return to "those hideous teal uniforms with farting horsey if you don't start showing some hustle" referring to the unpopular uniforms from 1996 to 2001.

A magistrate at the 36th District Court in Detroit ordered the local newspapers, TV Guide magazine and cable providers to update their channel guides after a petition signed by fans was brought to small claims. The petition argued that it was fraudulent to use the term "NBA Basketball" to describe the the kind of programming viewers saw when the Pistons lost by 17 to Memphis Saturday night.

It was widely reported that the Pistons plane Roundball One's emergency landing in Houston Monday night was due to a mechanical issue. It came out Tuesday, however, that the plane was actually forced to land prematurely due to coach Lawrence Frank's uncontrollable flatulence.

NBA deputy commissioner Adam Silver said fan reaction to the shortened season has been mostly positive.

"We've had some lean years around he recently, but this season's shaping up to the be worst," said the 31-year-old veteran. "Watching movies like '17 Again' take me back to better days, like when I was a teen growing up in Compton."

After scoring just 79 points in their season opener against the Pacers Monday, the Pistons called an emergency meeting with the ultimate conclusion being to lock themselves out of the rest of the season.