Kansas City

Did you see the highlights last night? The man known around town as the most physically fit man in all of Kansas City was on-hand to give World Series MVP Madison Bumgarner a car for his dominant World Series Performance.

“I couldn’t hold it any longer. My tongue was hanging out thinking about the Wiz Cheesesteak sandwich and the Freedom Fries,“ Reid told ESPN’s Sal Paolantonio, his BFF from his days as the Eagles coach.

During the team's meeting with Reid today, they brought in 10 racks of ribs from Gates BBQ, an entire pig roast from Three Little Pigs BBQ, eight pounds of brisket from the Golden Ox, and a trough full of pulled pork from Arthur Bryant's Barbecue.

With the Tigers and White Sox both sputtering down the stretch, a noted sports psychologist believes both teams are subconsciously tanking out of sympathy for the third-place and mathematically eliminated Royals, who have not made the postseason since 1985.

At least one fan who knows absolutely nothing about sports or history is comparing Sunday's match-up between Kyle Orton and Tim Tebow to the classic boxing matches of the early 1970s between Muhammad Ali and Joe Frazier.

“We’re going to suck, but it’s only because we want to suck. That’s how you get the first crack at the top prospects,” said Williams. “The Royals used to have a stranglehold on last place in the division but they’ve decided they want to try and win now, and we wanted to get the high draft picks. It just worked out.”

Tyler Palko has toiled around the NFL since 2007, but you wouldn’t know it since he had not recorded a stat until last year when he was the Chiefs’ third-string quarterback. After Matt Cassel left last Sunday’s game against the Broncos with an injury to his throwing hand, Palko stepped in behind center and now finds himself starting in his first NFL game against Patriots on Monday Night Football.