Colts

“I am told by numerous inside sources that this weekend, Peyton Manning will in fact be playing against his former team, the Indianapolis Colts.”

“The real key to this is keeping Tony Campana on the field,” Irsay said. “That guy has like four times as much hustle as anybody else. Therefore, it looks like you’re trying hard, but really that’s just one guy blurring all around.”

Picked by the Colts with the No. 1 overall selection, Stanford QB Andrew Luck was named the dorkiest top pick of all time, easily topping the two previous most dorky NFL No. 1 overall picks, Iowa QB Randy Duncan (1959) and Ohio State LB Tom Cousineau (1969).

Manning Watch 2012 ended when Peyton Manning signed a five-year, $96 million contract with the Broncos Tuesday. Denver wasn’t initially seen as a likely candidate to sign the veteran QB, as many NFL analysts predicted the veteran QB would instead sign with the Titans or 49ers, but Manning indicated the main factor in his decision-making process was a “sweet, horse-related mascot.”

"One of the most popular questions kids always ask is 'Who do you play for?'," said Giants quarterback Eli Manning. "We can't afford to have a guy on staff who can't answer that question. I encouraged him to enroll in our varsity level camp--I'm sure he will pick up some neat tips."

"I saw one of their commercials and thought 'hey, why not me?' I deserve happiness too," said Manning. "They asked me like 40 questions about my health, what kind of wide receivers I like, if I have a favorite jersey color ... it was pretty comprehensive."

"He's 35 years old and doesn't have a job," said the elder Manning. "What an embarrassment. My other son won a Super Bowl last season, the least Peyton could do is hold down a job."