South Bend

"I got bored with my life back in Bismarck where I worked as a CPA," said Phillips aka Te'o. "So some friends and I decided I should concoct a new identity for myself and get a fresh start life elsewhere."

The question remains whether the Big East realizes that these are not actual institutions of higher learning with athletic programs, but their interest in them should be of no surprise – it’s money.

"After our stunning victories against Purdue and Pitt, I never thought we could continue to beat nobody," said Kelly. "But this week, I hope we can prove all the doubters wrong."

Confused guards told him that visiting hours were over, and they doubted very seriously if they could “wrangle up [the inmates'] test scores and 40-yard-dash times.”

It’s a seasonal tradition for millions of disloyal Indiana residents: The changing of the college sports seasons from football to basketball. Each November, after yet another disappointing Notre Dame football season, mindless Hoosiers begin their perennial migration of fandom to focus upon Indiana University’s basketball team.

"The free agent market for QBs next year is going to be tough," said Bielema. "We've got to maintain our tradition of bringing in standout athletes who for all intents and purposes are finished with their collegiate experience but for whatever reason have a season of eligibility and can play anywhere."

College football is back baby! With approximately 250 games played between Thursday and Monday evening, we're here to boil it all down for you in just 215 words.