White Sox

“We’ve never really cared about our attendance numbers,” Williams said to the press. “So we figured what harm would it do to just ban children from every game? It’s my job as president to ensure that [The White Sox organization] is not only as unlikable as possible, but to rid the sport of something that I’ve always felt was way overrated: parent/child bonding time.”

"Nothing but love and respect for you North Siders up there," commented one White Sox fan on a Cubs post filled with positivity and well-wishes for each other's respective teams. "You guys have a bright future loaded with young talent and state of the art plumbing facilities."

Despite three consecutive losing seasons and a record of 295-350 in four years with Ventura as skipper, GM Rick Hahn announced the Sox legacy will return to pilot the ball club in 2016, which will be the fifth year of the team’s three-year plan.

Struggling to boost attendance, the White Sox’ always creative vice president and chief marketing officer, Brooks Boyer, announced the team has scheduled 12 additional Paul Konerko Days.

With the addition of WLS ABC 7 to lineup of channels televising Cubs games in 2015 it can sometimes get confusing for fans to find their local team on the tube. Here’s a helpful guide recently released by the team.

Beckham's walk-off home run provided the theatrics for the South Side Father's Day matinee. But this was no coincidence as Beckham has sworn off playing on non-parental holidays.

In the middle of an 8-game losing streak and sitting in the bowels of the AL Central, the White Sox front office has decided to move on from the failed Robin Ventura era, and have named 1990s pet detective, Ace Ventura, as the new manager.