White Sox

White Sox bench coach Joey Cora was recently the unfortunate victim of a U.S. Cellular promotion gone wrong.

The almighty lords of baseball patted themselves on the back this afternoon after finding yet another way to put the hurt on Cubs fans: by forcing them to endure a sweep at the hands of the last place Astros – while watching the crosstown rival White Sox sweep Boston.

Chicago sports fans had a blast watching the Bulls playoff run this year, but they didn’t enjoy it as much as the Cubs and White Sox. With the Bulls having done so well, all of the city's attention was on them and taken off of the lousy start for both baseball teams.

"While I most certainly can empathize with his frustration, I find Mr. Quade's harangue neither professional nor appropriate," Guillen told reporters in the Sox clubhouse. "Why must that fellow demean himself and our grand pastime so with his foul, abusive vitriol? Yes, I am distressed. Distressed and perplexed."

White Sox outfielder Juan Pierre has responded to his early season struggles by growing a mustache in preparation for a shot at acting.

A Cook County District Court judge recently ordered Hawk to legally change his name to Homer due to his blind devotion to the team.

Lincoln Park Slims broke the cardinal rule of sports bars recently when a small area of its wall was not covered by high definition television. Although the pub was equipped with 2,313 televisions, including 15 in each bathroom, it was the small section of a wall without a T.V. that had customers up in arms.