Chug-Chug Comic: White Sox woes
Chug-Chug The Comeback Clown and his South Side nemesis/friend Buzz-Buzz discuss the Sox losing Mark Buehrle and Ozzie Guillen to the Marlins.
White Sox acquire 5th-place in AL Central from Royals in shocking trade
“We’re going to suck, but it’s only because we want to suck. That’s how you get the first crack at the top prospects,” said Williams. “The Royals used to have a stranglehold on last place in the division but they’ve decided they want to try and win now, and we wanted to get the high draft picks. It just worked out.”
Buehrle takes out newspaper ad to bid farewell to White Sox fans
A day after leaving the White Sox for a fat free agent contract with the Miami Marlins, pitcher Mark Buehrle took out a full-page ad in the Chicago Tribune and Chicago Sun-Times. Click here to see the PDF.
White Sox trade Adam Dunn to Cubs for rats, STD
In exchange for Adam Dunn, Sox GM Kenny Williams agreed to contract a severe case of Gonorrhea, as well as all of the steroid enhanced rats that inhabit Wrigley Field.
Marco Paddy joins Sox organization as chief hostage negotiator
"This kidnapping thing is for real," said Williams. "I begged our players not to go on vacation anywhere south of Hammond until we hired somebody who could speak Spanish."
Marlins plan fire sale immediately after signing Pujols, Reyes, Buehrle and Madson
Employing the same formula that brought them championships in 1997 and 2003, the Miami Marlins announced that they have signed free agents Albert Pujols, Jose Reyes, Mark Buehrle and Ryan Madson and immediately began planning the fire sale that has shortly followed those two World Series titles.
Reinsdorf and Selig get in argument about who smells more like pickles
Longtime friends Bud Selig and Jerry Reinsdorf had a falling out this afternoon while they were watching an episode of Matlock together. According to sources, the two men began arguing about who smelled more like pickles when one of them noticed a "strange odor" in the air.
