White Sox

"I just don't trust them," said lifelong Sox fan Gus Pavlik, who prefers to watch games from the comfort of his neighborhood tavern in Lisle. "Sure, they're in first now, but by the time I buy a ticket and drive down to the 'Cell, they might have dropped into second place. It ain't worth it."

"We umpires are sick of standing around and calling strikes for these bums. We're taking breaks," said McClelland. "Usually the scoreboard says 0-2 before they walk up. This is a perfect time to chill and get a beer."

"The stakes tonight were huge because I knew the league mandates a team is dissolved if the Cubs sweep them," said Ventura. "Just look at the Padres. They lost all three of their games at Wrigley a few weeks ago and no one has heard from them since."

The bi-annual bar fight, that is now known as the BP Crosstown Classic, has shifted to the South Side this week. Historically, fights between the two sides of fans usually originate in the stands, at home plate or between Carlos Zambrano and whomever walks in front of him. This year however, with such hot weather, fights have been breaking out in and around the center field shower at U.S. Cellular Field.

"The letters began in 2007 when I received the first, 'I might die if you leave us' letter came," said Konerko. "I figured it was him after I rejected his advances and he said 'You gotta be bleepin me!' He then tried to kiss me."

A.J. Pierzynski found himself in the middle of another fracas this week in Tampa against the Rays. Here are the Top 10 was the White Sox catcher normally agitates his opponents.

How could Steve Rosenbloom’s awful blog post have possibly garnered 40 comments from 37 different posters? The answer: there were not 37 different posters. Every post was made by one man using different screennames, super-bored Chicago sports fan Frank Weinheimer.