Chicago

Sources say Bulls GM John Paxson is set to name Iowa State's Fred Hoibery as the team's new coach they'll fire in three to five years, replacing the hugely successful Tom Thibodeau, who was bounced after five seasons of .600-plus basketball.

“Dave [Broome] and I were sitting around wondering if we’d ever get someone to push the contestants to the limit like Jillian [Michaels]. The show hasn't been the same since she left and we needed a bulldozer. Dave threw out Coach Thibs' name and we both stopped and knew we had to have him. Once the season was over we hired him immediately,” said NBC executive producer, Ben Silverman.

"We're excited to welcome back Vinny into the Bulls family," Bulls General Manager Gar Forman said in a press conference announcing the moves. "We feel his approach to the game, drawing up questionable plays and misusing timeouts in an almost comical fashion, will be a welcome contrast to the past five years, where Thibodeau made sure the team would overperform and play hard despite serious injuries to key players."

After suffering a 4-3 overtime loss to the Ducks Monday night, rumors had been circulating that a tree sloth from a local zoo might be starting over the veteran defenseman in game 6.

The pendant will serve as a memento for the Hawks Conference Final appearance as well as an alert system for any fan going into cardiac arrest during the numerous 3rd period lead changes.

The Blackhawks are brimming with confidence facing elimination in game 6 at home versus Anaheim. The reason? They've decided to try in the first period.

"Turns out we have to dig a little harder in situations like this. If you can't trust people who stand to benefit greatly from something you're asking them about, who can you trust?"