Halas Hall erupts into panic after Tarik Cohen gets lost between couch cushions
“He scared the living daylights out of us," said the heavily panting head coach. "I mean, we’re counting on this guy to play basically every position on offense.”
Sleep-deprived, caffeine-fueled Matt Nagy draws up personnel package with Tarik Cohen at left guard
For the previous five nights, Nagy had been racking his brain for new ways to utilize the talented second year speedster, after he had an electrifying rookie campaign.
Cubs acquire ghost of Cole Hamels
"Anytime you can add the apparition of a once-great player, you have to do it," said Cubs President Theo Epstein. "Sort of like when Shoeless Joe Jackson and Buck Weaver showed up in 'Field of Dreams.' Tell me that didn't make the movie better."
Maddon names Rizzo interim closer with Morrow on DL
"With Brandon [Morrow] on the shelf, we need someone who can slam the door at the end of games," said Maddon. "Anthony is the logical choice."
Jason Heyward discovers Mattress Firm under Wrigley Field bleachers
During Sunday’s home game against the Cardinals Jason Heyward disappeared for several minutes after chasing a ball deep into the right field well. An interview after the game shed light on exactly where the gold-glover had been: a Mattress Firm outlet.
Cards fans criticize Fowler for not batting 1.000 during Cubs series
"We all know Dexter Fouler [sic] is a spy for the Cubs," wrote on Cards fan on Facebook. "How's he not get a hit ever time he's up to the plate when it's batting at Wrigley Field? So weak. The Cards need to cut his azz now!"
Tom Ricketts calls Cubs fan who stole ball from little kid ‘worse than Bartman’
Ricketts: "Whatever you, don't go pulling this quote out of context just to get clicks to your stupid website using the 'worse than Bartman' phrase from what I just said."
