Cubs

After Ted Lilly, the Cubs lone All-Star, spent nearly a month on the disabled list with inflammation in his left shoulder recently, GM Jim Hendry decided to take advice from his uncle, car mechanic John Hendry, who suggested the general manager simply piece together a single healthy pitcher from a hodgepodge of healthy limbs from the rest of the staff.

From Mel Rojas to Dave Smith to Antonio Alfonseca, the Cubs have had a long line of awful closers over the past 25 years. Kevin Gregg officially overtook them all as Most Hated Cubs Closer in History (MHCCH) Monday night when he blew another save in walk-off fashion.

Carlos Zambrano and Milton Bradley recently joined an exclusive club of Chicago sports icons, including Michael Jordan and Greg Maddux, by appearing on the box of a popular breakfast cereal. Unlike their predecessors -- who can be found on Wheaties boxes -- the Cubs duo will instead appear on a limited production of Kellogg's Froot Loops.

Steve Weinstein of Lakeview made it to his ninth Cubs game of the season Saturday. Unfortunately, he doesn't remember any plays from the Cubs 3-1 win over Pittsburgh because he spent most of the afternoon on his iPhone.

As last month's trade deadline approached, the Pirates held their annual fire sale of everyone on the team with any value whatsoever. This year, however, Pittsburgh GM Neil Huntington might have gone just a little too far.

While the Cubs were being steam-rolled by the defending champion Phillies at Wrigley Field Wednesday night, one fan decided to take things into his own hands and tossed a beer at Philly OF Shane Victorino as he hauled in a deep fly ball in the fifth inning.

Great news: The Heckler's August issue has hit the streets. As usual, it's packed full of unbelievable sports news.