Cubs

With softball headlines like "Lilly is not a flower" and "'D-Lee'ader," the official Cubs magazine Vine Line hardly seems like a harbinger of doom, but that's just what it's been for each and every...

After an abysmal showing of his front office skills in 2009, it seems his résumé may some fine-tuning in anticipation of a job search. Unfortunately Hendry missed a golden opportunity to save some serious cash through a free résumé promotion at Kinko's months ago.

After the Cubs 7-2 win over the Brewers Tuesday night, fresh-faced Cubs rookie outfielder Tyler Colvin thought he would take in some of the Cheddar State's famed nightlife. He went to a downtown Milwaukee venue where he was carded at an all-ages show.

Milton Bradley was suspended for the rest of the season Sunday after criticizing his team in the media, but he may get the last laugh. The Cubs' introspective right fielder has used the hardship of this season as his muse and created a heartfelt R&B album to be released next month.

In what is considered the greatest upset in Olympic bid history, Cardinals utility man and former Cub Mark DeRosa helped St. Louis beat out Chicago and several international cities for the right to host the 2016 Summer Olympics, further confirming the Cubs and GM Jim Hendry made a major gaffe by trading DeRosa away this offseason.

Cubs pitcher Carlos Zambrano added another contract to his lucrative bounty when he inked a deal with Abflex to be the company's "before" picture model. According to contract specifics, there is no need for Zambrano to continue working for Abflex after the photos and videos are taken of him posing shirtless, holding a huge sub sandwich.

Major League Baseball today officially declared an end to the 2009 season today by releasing the Cubs 2010 schedule.