Cubs

Following the Big Ten’s decision to use only the west end zone during Saturday’s college football game at Wrigley Field, the Cubs announced they will only allow opponents to hit to right field starting next year.

The Yankees hired Cubs pitching coach Larry Rothschild to serve in the same role there. Rothschild said he's looking forward to quickly showing his new team the one thing for which his old one will best remember him.

Just hours after the Big Ten announced both Northwestern and Illinois would use only the west end zone during Saturday's game at Wrigley Field, the Canadian Football League canceled its tentative plans to host a 2011 exhibition game at the Friendly Confines.

Almost 30 years since Philadelphia foolishly dealt Ryne Sandberg to the Cubs for Ivan De Jesus, the Phillies reacquired the Hall of Famer to manage their Triple-A affiliate Lehigh Valley IronPigs, completing the franchise's evil plot to steal back a player who's become the face of the Cubs.

Sammy Sosa experimented with the white person look two years ago, but his transformation is complete just in time for his 42nd birthday today.

Die-hard readers of The Heckler might have noticed it's been about eight weeks since we published our last issue. The Heckler's supposed to be monthly and eight weeks sure ain't monthly. So, yeah, we're a little off, but there's a reason: Our new web site. We totally relaunched theheckler.com and you should check it out if you haven't already.

The Cubs third baseman chooses not to opt-out of his contract due to his deflated market value.