Cubs

The Cubs received a startling blow to their 2011 playoff hopes when their Opening Day loss to the Pirates mathematically eliminated the team from playoff contention.

“Let’s see here," said Garza. "There’s the day baseball, poor player amenities at Wrigley, the slew of bars outside the ballpark, the wind blowing out, Ronnie Woo-Woo’s annoying yelping, Todd Ricketts, poor fielding from Soriano and Castro, those guys at the Heckler making fun of me, and who can forget the curse?"

We at The Heckler get unsolicited emails all the time. Usually they're from Sox fans who think we have a North Side bias. Those go straight to the trash. Sometimes, however, they're from people who actually want to talk about sports in an intelligent manner. We save those and today, we've actually answered some of them.

Security cameras captured Carlos Silva eating everything he could get his hands on, including bats, balls, mitts, and even muddy cleats. Nothing was spared as he sat in the clubhouse with a bottle of hot sauce in one hand and baseball gear in the other, shoving everything down his throat.

Join us this evening for the 103rd Annual Next Year Day at Casey Moran's: We have tons of Old Style to drink. And a bunch of other great stuff. No cover this year either. What's not to lose?

Not surprisingly, Wilt Chamberlain tops the list of sports personalities who have had the most success with groupies.

Here's another reason you should attend Next Year Day Thursday night at Casey Moran's: We have tons of Old Style to drink. And to top it off, you'll be enjoying Wrigleyville's favorite beer at the low, low price of just $2.