Cubs

While the Cubs chairman has scored low on the baseball IQ chart since taking over the team, Tom Ricketts is starting to show some savvy after scoring Theo Epstein to replace Jim Hendry as GM. Unfortunately, Ricketts attempts to pawn off both Carlos Zambrano and Alfonso Soriano to Boston have not been met with exuberance.

As Cubs fans celebrate the likely hiring of Theo Epstein as GM, it's yet another instance of the team's biggest news happening off the field. In the long and mostly forgettable history of the Cubs, most of the team's big news has occurred off the field. Here's a glimpse.

“Not one member on that team is good enough to play here,” said Sox owner John Henry. “But those golden pipes of Pat Hughes are well-suited to broadcast games from Fenway.”

Following the lead of the Occupy Wall Street movement, Cubs fans have banded together to form Occupy Wrigleyville, a group dedicated to lowering ticket prices, hiring Theo Epstein, signing Albert Pujols and “just more partying in general.”

"We think the fans will get behind the 'everyman' aspect of this new promotion," Boyer explained. "It will encourage people in these hard times, keeping hopes and dreams alive. Just imagine, one minute you're some shlub sitting in the 500-level seats and then, wham, you're the bullpen coach: novelty hire!"

Think you're a real Cubs fan? Okay, let's see you name all six of these guys from the 1994 squad that finished last in the NL Central with a strike-shortened record of 49-64.

“Do I buy my kids Christmas gifts this year or renew my tickets and get fired up to see 81 games of Jeff Baker as our new starting third baseman?” said season-ticket holder Kevin Thomas. “It’s a tough choice, but if the Cubs bring back Larry Himes as GM, it might sway my decision.”