Bulls

Just a week after Kirk Hinrich was traded to Washington, the Bulls are talking with Portland about a Luol Deng deal and at least one fan is deflated.

NBA superstar and prized free agent LeBron James announced Tuesday that he'll be hosting a nationally televised one-hour press conference Thursday night in which he plans to announce he will not be signing with the Minnesota Timberwolves.

The NBA's free agency extravaganza is just now officially in session, but rampant, uninformed speculation has been going on for months. Much of it has been fueled by the thousands of sports blogs pumping content daily, which for Bulls fans has confirmed only one thing: There is a chance LeBron James could sign with Chicago.

As the NBA free agency season begins and speculation about LeBron James' destination has reached a fevered pitch. Many believe the Bulls' chances are limited by Michael Jordan's legacy, but the team made a major statement by erecting a statue of James dunking over the famous Jordan statue outside the United Center.

Looking to even the playing field and avoid any possible collusion scenarios, the NBA will officially award LeBron James to the team that finds a magic ticket in a candy bar. Commissioner David Stern personally placed a golden ticket inside of a Willy Wonka chocolate bar and wished good luck to fans in all NBA cities.

The NBA's free agency roller coaster took another surprising turn today when LeBron James retired from basketball to play minor league baseball instead.

The NBA free agent signing period is nearing and Chicagoans are deep in LeBron James fever. While this fever is not an official clinical ailment or disease, people citywide have acted in especially ridiculous ways since the rumor mill aligned Chicago and James together.