Bulls

The Bulls secured a large piece of the coveted Mormon fan base with the singings of former Utah Jazz players Carlos Boozer, Kyle Korver and Ronnie Brewer. Bulls brass are counting on increased revenue streams with such promotions as “Bring your Wives Thursdays” and “Chocolate Milk Tuesdays.”

The Carmelo Anthony trade race is heating up and the Bulls just upped their stakes by offering everyone on their active roster except Derrick Rose for the displeased Nuggets star.

Bulls legend Scottie Pippen received word this week that he'll soon be an esteemed member of the Acting Hall of Fame thanks to his outstanding role in a 1991 Mr. Submarine TV ad.

Scottie Pippen was known as an irreplaceable part of the Bulls six championship teams in the '90s. Unfortunately, he was also known as a terrible tipper. Nearly every Chicagoland waiter, valet and bartender during the era had a story about "No Tippin'" Pippen. Not surprisingly, Pippen's stinginess has not changed, as he's despised by service workers in Springfield, Mass., where he will be inducted into the Basketball Hall of Fame this weekend.

It's not even September and North Side baseball is already a painful afterthought. Luckily The Heckler's August issue is here to dull the pain with unbelievable coverage of the Loveable Losers. There's also great stuff about the rest of the teams in our fair city, so please read on.

In case you missed The Heckler's cable access show a couple weeks back because you had something better to do at 10 on a Sunday night, here it is for you to watch at your leisure.

The Chicago sports world is very worried about the lack of wild speculation gripping the city.