Bulls

Over their nine-year run in Chicago, the Matadors made a large mark on the city’s sports landscape. But sadly last week it was announced that the powers that be in the Bulls organization agree with Chet Coppock’s 2009 book: Fat Guys Shouldn't Be Dancin' at Halftime.

Michael Jordan today issued a decree to his millions of loyal followers: "Please stop posting that 'tacky' photo of LeBron, Kobe and me and all the trophies to Facebook."

Just a few days after undergoing successful surgery to repair his torn ACL, Bulls superstar Derrick Rose showed up at the United Center Monday morning, unaware the team was eliminated from the playoffs last week but completely healed and ready to take on their next opponent.

As the Bulls' once-promising season continues to unravel, psychology professors from Northwestern University released shocking early results from an overnight study that revealed not one Chicagoan apparently remembers Tuesday night's 109-92 thrashing at the hands of the very mediocre 76ers in Game 2 of the first-round of the playoffs.

The Chicago Matadors is a popular “super-sized” dance team that regularly performs to adoring and raucous fans during Bulls games. Hoping to take their routine to the next level for the playoffs, the team sought to add real-life matadors from Spain to the mix. When flights and arrangements became costly, the Bulls PR found a cheaper group of actual matadors in Lake Forest: the Chicago Bears offensive line.

With fan interest waning after Derrick Rose's ACL injury, the NBA has announced it's pulling Bulls playoff games from a national TV rotation, and will instead air them on Chicago cable access and some of the closed circuit televisions found at many gas pumps around the region.

Tom Thibodeau has often been criticized for not having a life outside of the Berto Center. Thibodeau sought to put these accusations to rest by spending a fun-filled day at a local carnival with his best friend, a regulation-sized basketball named Orangy McLeather.