Rose declares himself ready for Game 6 tonight
"It feels good, man. You can't rush these things, but now I'm finally back to where I can jump, cut, and move the way I know I can. I'm ready to help this team beat the Heat!" a confident Rose said.
Report: David Stern forced Derrick Rose to fake injury as unofficial suspension for gambling
"Rose's gambling had just gone out of control. He's a hyper-competitive guy, and that manifested itself with all-night poker games and off-days spent in casinos, but it really crossed a line when he started betting on games."
Chris Bosh denies being a velociraptor, tells reporters ‘NEEEYAHHHHH’
Bosh was clearly upset at the report, viewing it as an insult toward his general appearance and gangliness. He spoke long and eloquently at a press conference to deny these rumors, telling reporters, "NEEEYAHHHH, SCREEE SCREEE AYIYIYIYI NEEEUGHHH."
FTD Mother’s Day Special: ‘Derrick’ Rose Bouquet with guaranteed delivery by Mother’s Day 2014
"The awaited return of Derrick Rose has left an entire city in giddy suspense," said FTD Operations Manager Jeffrey Williams. "We thought with all that hype, why not bypass the predictable Mother's Day flower delivery and give Mom the gift of prolonged anticipation."
Ailing Deng to play in hospital gown Friday night
"Yeah, I'm not feeling well, but I need to be out there with my teammates no matter what," said Deng. "Watching the last four games from a hospital bed while writhing in pain has really sucked."
Hawk Harrelson defends Derrick Rose, praises his ‘TWTS’
"And while most sports stars have TWTW: The Will To Win, Derrick is remarkable in that he has TWTS: The Will To Sit. I’ve never seen anything like it. His resolve is impenetrable."
Derrick Rose’s new business files for bankruptcy when employees don’t show; get paid anyway
“You gotta practice what you preach, you know?” Rose said. “I can’t fault my employees for not showing up to the office. It’s a policy I actively embrace with the Bulls.”
