Illinois DMV requires all Chicago athletes re-take driver’s ed courses
Starting next month, the DMV will require all prominent sports celebs in Chicago to take the following courses: Proper etiquette in running from your crashed Lamborghini, avoiding immovable steel objects while you are concussed, and not punching cab drivers in the face 101.
St. Patrick’s Day Drink Specials — Chicago sports style!
From the Bitter Cutler to the Zero Wisemen, enjoy these refreshing Chicago sports-themed drinks this St. Patrick's Day!
Kane plans to score chicks tomorrow by telling them St. Patrick’s Day was named...
Although the young Blackhawks star figures many women will be disappointed to learn the holiday wasn't named after the handsome Patrick Sharp, Kane assumes he'll "get plenty of tail anyway."
Archaeologists find warning against Bollig, Carcillo skating on same line in Mayan calendar
“We found a note on the Mayan calendar,” said archaeologist Gilbert Scott. “It points out that around November 2012 something terrible will begin to occur. I found this funny because I didn’t realize that the Mayans also invented Post-It notes! Sorry. A little science humor there.”
Charmin Ultra to sponsor ‘soft’ Blackhawks for remainder of season
After seeing how soft the team has been playing of late, the bath tissue company couldn’t pass up the opportunity to align their brand with the team.
Corey Crawford sheds cumbersome padding for spandex and riot shield
Once again this season the Blackhawks have found themselves lacking stability in the net. But now that Ray Emery has apparently seized control of the starting gig, Corey Crawford is coming up with some answers of his own to get back in the game: less heavy padding and more riot gear.
ComEd refuses to turn on Blackhawks power play until team pays overdue bill
"The coaches can draw up whatever plays they want, but don't expect to see any flashing red lights until the Hawks pay more than $1 million in overdue power fees," said the spokesman. "Unless the other team scores short-handed or something. We'll gladly light the lamp for those guys!"
