Patrick Kane’s dad sneaks ‘Miracle on Ice’ into game film, triggers son’s hat trick
Asked about the video, Pat Kane Sr. said “Yeah, yeah, yeah … 22 career playoff goals. Of course they’re in the video. But Patrick scored the hat trick because I secretly spliced Miracle on Ice into the film. You know, subliminally, the way the words ‘order a pizza’ are invisibly edited into those late night infomercials for exercise machines.”
Winnetka residents turn over bikes, prize flower beds in Hawks celebration
Police reported that a 24” J.C. Higgins bicycle with a blown balloon tire was found in a Rhododendron bush with the remnants of a banana seat strewn throughout Pine Tree Lane.
Bandwagon Hawks fans outraged Bryan Bickell not a Hart Trophy finalist
"Bickell's been one of the best players in the league this season, all sixteen games. But he's not even a finalist for the Hart Trophy! Instead it's between Crosby, Ovechkin, and John Tavares. I've never even heard of that last guy."
Justin Bieber placed on suicide watch after Heat, Kings lose
Nobody took the near-simultaneous losses harder than Heat/Kings diehard fan Justin Bieber.
Shocking drop in television ratings for Hawks fourth playoff game against Kings
With more than 300,000 viewers watching game three, ratings plummeted more than 33 percent to fewer than 200,000 during the Hawks dramatic 3-2 win in the fourth game.
Roberto Luongo apprehended outside United Center while wearing Jonathan Quick mask
As everyone would come to find out, it actually was not Quick manning the net for the Kings in Game 2. A lowly-paid janitor discovered Quick tied up and gagged in the bowels of the United Center shortly after the final horn sounded.
Hawks fans surprised team has not yet won Stanley Cup
"What do you mean there are more games?" asked long-time Hawks fan, Doug Jameson, who was watching the game from Cunneen's bar in Rogers Park. "They just beat Detroit in seven, man. What else do they [NHL] freakin' want?"
