Briggs traded to magical team that showers aging linebackers with cash and unicorns
Less than a week after demanding a trade because the Bears won’t restructure his contract, Lance Briggs has been shipped off to the California Dreamers, a magical team run by sports agents that grants players with existing contracts all their wishes.
Bears consider using two rows of offensive linemen to protect Cutler
Created by Mike Martz, this new formation will utilize a second row of offensive linemen, set behind the first row, to give the quarterback maximum protection.
Fantasy Report: How should Cedric Benson’s habit of getting drunk and punching people impact...
"I would proceed with caution both when approaching a most likely intoxicated Benson in an Austin bar and when considering drafting him for my fantasy league," said Yahoo! Sports Fantasy Football Reporter Cody Findlay. "He's a bit of a wild card, both drunk and sober."
Bears sign Punt, Pass & Kick champ to fill 3 roster spots
“I realize we’re eating a lot of salary with these moves, but let’s face it, all three phases have been stinking up the joint,” said GM Jerry Angelo. “We’ve had our eye on Fudwanker since Junior Peewee ball, and he brings a lot to the table.”
Tom Brady lauded as ‘strong’ for maintaining his handsomeness during lockout
Tom Brady felt he had little to worry about after the NFL Network forecasted his 2011 outlook as “strong” simply for nurturing his punishing good looks during the offseason.
Jay want smoosh smoosh? Cutler confirms he’s now dating Snooki
"Jay certainly has a type," said an anonymous friend. " And that type is 'Reality TV star.' Really, if she's made a living having cameras follow her around, Jay's gonna take a shining to her."
Roy Williams drops baby while taking picture with fans
"As they say, I heard footsteps and panicked," said an embarrassed Williams. "It's only preseason though. If I was holding that kid during the regular season, I would've held on no doubt."
