Bears

Bears running back Matt Forte was hoping for a new contract today. Instead, he received a 3-inch violin replica, the smallest such instrument of its kind in the world.

"Back before I got him fired, Mike used to harp on my singing style, so I changed it up," said Cutler of the Bears' former offensive coordinator. "Clearly, the changes didn't improve my performance and that's all on Mike."

Lost in the headlines saying Jay Cutler butchered the 7th Inning Stretch at Wrigley Saturday afternoon, was that injuries suffered during the hit Cutler took when throwing out the game's first pitch will force him to miss the entire 2012 season.

“Man, things are tough all over,” Forte said. “This recession’s really hitting me hard. All I got to my name is a three-bedroom condo in Streeterville, a 4,000 square-foot oceanfront house in South Beach, a gated-community residence in Atlanta next to a golf course, and 17 cars — five of which are used."

@MattForte22: There's only so many times a man can be disrespected! First by #Bears and now by #Madden13. GOOD GUYS do finish last....even in video games.

How could Steve Rosenbloom’s awful blog post have possibly garnered 40 comments from 37 different posters? The answer: there were not 37 different posters. Every post was made by one man using different screennames, super-bored Chicago sports fan Frank Weinheimer.

Less than a day after a photo of President Obama tossing a football at Soldier Field made the rounds, the talking heads at Fox News ripped Obama, calling his approach to quarterbacking just "more socialist nonsense."