Bears

Less than a day after Bears offensive coordinator Aaron Kromer apologized to his team for public comments he made that were critical of Jay Cutler emails were leaked from players, coaches, front office staff and ownership. They reveal the shocking current level of dysfunctional at Halas Hall these days.

"You know, all we need is the 49ers, Seahawks, and Lions to lose every game while the Bears finish the season undefeated," said Richardson. "And hoping that Minnesota, New Orleans, and St. Louis all lose more than one game as well, and we're talking six seed here. I don't know, I think our boys have got it in them!"

“It’s been a while since I’ve had turf toe," Conte told the Sun Times. "Come to think of it, I haven’t had a broken clavicle since high school, so maybe I’ll go with that one against the Saints.”

When asked about Cutler's statements taking blame for a defense that has surrendered 40 more points this season than the 1-11 Oakland Raiders, defensive coordinator Mel Tucker said, "Listen, football is a team sport. A lot of guys on the squad aren't carrying their weight, and we've had some really costly injuries that have depleted our depth. But, if I had to point a finger at one person, yeah, it's because of Jay."

"I'm not gonna lie: It was a rough outing," said Cutler. "Those picks were on me. That probably explains my performance at dinner. My head just wasn't in it. My family is very forgiving. I'll be more prepared for the Christmas festivities."

Robert Griffin III has joined Underachieving Quarterbacks Anonymous, a support group headed by Jay Cutler.

After another dismal Bears game in front of relatives, thousands of fans were quick to turn on Netflix with a helping of stuffing. Netflix traffic boomed in the Chicago market after the second of Joique Bell's touchdowns as Bears fans let out a collective groan.