Bears

"Nothing but love and respect for you North Siders up there," commented one White Sox fan on a Cubs post filled with positivity and well-wishes for each other's respective teams. "You guys have a bright future loaded with young talent and state of the art plumbing facilities."

Hours after dealing Jared Allen to Carolina and Jon Bostic to New England, the Bears are reportedly aiming to trade every other player to any other team.

After a closer-than-expected loss to the Green Bay Packers on Sunday, Bears fans were seen storming Soldier Field to celebrate losing by only eight points after notably losing 55-14 to the same team last year. As the crowd triumphantly surrounded the Bears, members of the team were seen spraying each other with champagne in celebration.

Just a day after Packers All-Pro WR Jordy Nelson went down with an ACL tear, delusional Bears fan Steven Dietrich has been thrilled at what he's considering a "big break" that will dramatically improve Chicago's chances in the NFC North.

“We’re thin at wide receiver right now with only Eddie Royal, Kevin White and Alshon Jeffrey," Fox mentioned to Cutler. "None of those guys are really proven commodities and I think that, you know, it would be fun and um, uh well...how’s the family?”

“It’s no secret we’ve been shopping Jay [Cutler] and have been unsuccessful in the process,” admitted Pace. “His bloated contract and lack of supporting credentials has clearly handcuffed our ability to improve. However, when news of this championship broke, it undoubtedly boosted his market value overnight!”

"Turns out we have to dig a little harder in situations like this. If you can't trust people who stand to benefit greatly from something you're asking them about, who can you trust?"