Bears

What they discovered was that due to what insiders are calling an "undiscovered clerical error," Fox's contract was never properly executed and therefore he hadn't actually been hired to coach the team in 2015. Fox's employment was immediately nullified.

The hoards of Bears fans eagerly awaiting the eventual debut of first-round draft pick Mitch Trubisky will be in for a huge disappointment. Reports from those close to the organization indicate the young QB is becoming "much, much worse at football" just by being in the presence of struggling starter Mike Glennon.

Did you see the way Mitch was just standing there on the sideline not doing anything? Talk about a total lack of effort. Frankly, I'm considering demoting him to third string again.

Interim Bears starting quarterback, Mike Glennon got in a heated argument this week with the owner of Chen's Chinese Restaurant in downtown Chicago. It had nothing to do with the Kung Pow Chicken or quality of service, but rather the zodiac paper place mats on the dining room tables.

"Once I lock eyes with a receiver, it's on. That's where I'm going with the ball," said Glennon. "In fact, I'm looking at Kevin White right now. I have been for the last 35 minutes."

"Yes, he did that against the Broncos' second and third stringers," admitted Bears fan Bob Borowski. "Which is why I'm not predicting double-digit Super Bowl rings."

"Not worried about job security at all," argued Glennon. "Here's the thing. In Tampa, I had these really obnoxious neighbors at my apartment complex who would play Metallica all night long. Florida leases are tough to break, so I was forced to deal with the situation. I spent a lot of tired, groggy days on the bench because of it."