Canucks

Join a big group of crazy Hawks fans as we head to United Center to take on the Canucks on Friday, Dec. 20. Co-hosted with our friends at Joel Quenneville's Mustache. Space is running out so sign up today!

As everyone would come to find out, it actually was not Quick manning the net for the Kings in Game 2. A lowly-paid janitor discovered Quick tied up and gagged in the bowels of the United Center shortly after the final horn sounded.

"A lot of you probably thought I wouldn't be here tonight because of the way I collapsed to the ice this afternoon in Detroit," said Sedin during his acceptance speech. "But that was just acting!"

See Roberto Luongo and the Sedin brothers in all their crying, diving glory with these fun animated GIFs.

The manager of GameStop Detroit phoned 911 and pleaded for help, "They're trying to break in! They want to play their game but we think it's an unfair deal for GameStop. A game of this caliber should be going for $70, not $60! I mean, come on! There's a new freaking skating physics engine for Christ's sake. These gamers have had it too good for too long!"

Team names are fun, but they don't always accurately reflect a franchise's players and fans. Here at The Heckler, we've created a few alternate names and logos that are more descriptive of the teams they represent.

The city of Vancouver is taking the unusual precaution of spraying flame retardant chemicals on its entire downtown area should the city's unruly citizens react violently if the Canucks are swept out of the playoffs by the Kings Wednesday night.