Pittsburgh

No one in the Yankees’ clubhouse will speak openly about it, but a grassroots movement in Tampa helped make the trade of A. J. Burnett to the Pirates earlier this week a reality.

“Baseball is better when you don’t keep score,” Epstein said. “We teach kids from an early age that it’s not whether you win or lose, it’s how you play the game. It’s time to practice what we preach. This is all about the kids.”

“No, I’m not going to work out at all,” Big Ben said. “I plan on eating, sleeping, and eating. No ‘assaulting,' no motorcycle riding, just eating 'til my last name looks smaller on my jersey.”

"It was pretty graphic," teammate James Neal told reporters. "I mean, we'll be walking to the ice for practice, and he'll start rubbing his temples and complaining that he thinks the headaches are coming back, and after a while he starts screaming, 'Oh no concussion!' then the next thing you know... pop. His head just explodes. It looks exactly like that scene from 'Scanners.' We all rush over and Sid just starts laughing at us. Not cool."

“We went with Parrot because he won’t scare kids away, like Captain Jolly possibly might,” said the team's head of marketing.

Citing a "tireless resolve in the face of hardship and adversity," President Obama congratulated Chicagoan Keith McConnell over the phone Monday after McConnell won $10,000 in a squares pool when the Packers beat the Steelers 31-25 in Super Bowl XLV Sunday night.