East

After a recent doubleheader against the Giants in which the Mets were swept, losing both games by a combined 13-3 score, the team has officially changed its 50 year-old moniker to "Same Old Mets" in order to embrace what fans are saying about the team right now.

"It's not necessarily that I think Ward's here illegally and thereby inherently unable to compete in our league," said Thomas, who refused to visit President Obama in the White House because of his political beliefs. "I'm just a concerned citizen who wants to make sure Joel Ward is not ineligible to score a decisive overtime goal on me."

As Fenway Park commemorated its 100th anniversary last weekend, Red Sox Nation’s adulation turned to horror on Saturday when their beloved BoSox took the enthusiastic crowd on a metaphorical trip back to 1912 and reenacted what appeared to be their own spontaneous interpretation of the voyage of the ill-fated Titanic.

According to Epstein, when Bowden arrived in Chicago, he learned both pitchers are six-foot-four, 220 pounds and have eerily similar throwing motions. Oddly, both answer to the name "Chris" or "Carp."

His beard is weird, his stash is trash ... but he doesn’t care, because John Tortorella’s graying playoff beard has landed him a lucrative endorsement deal.

An earlier game of the Penguins-Flyers playoff series featured 158 penalty minutes, four ejections, superstars Sidney Crosby and Claude Giroux dropping gloves. Facing the possibility of a first round elimination, the Penguins called for reinforcements by adding Steelers Pro Bowl LB James Harrison to their roster.

Contrary to popular belief, the WNBA still exists, and league officials are pulling out all the stops to gain interest. This year's 2012 WNBA draft was held earlier this week, in a VFW hall outside of Newark, N.J., and was "top optional" to generate interest in the failing league.