Notre Dame has God’s attention while Tebow is on the bench in New York
This has led to an abrupt change in the NCAA landscape, with Notre Dame going from a complete joke of a program to a team that can actually be competitive with the likes of Navy.
Sandy Alderson earns billion-dollar contract extension after getting rid of Jason Bay
"Today is a great day in New York history," said Fred Wilpon. "Mets fans should be on their knees in worship of Sandy Alderson for his wondrous job in getting rid of Bay. Sandy deserves nothing less than a billion-dollar extension for his work. Bravo Mr. Alderson, bravo."
Mets fans hold parade to celebrate Jason Bay’s departure
Detailed crowd analysis revealed that the parade, called the Bay Day March on Fiscal Freedom, got a better turnout than the San Francisco Giants did for their recent World Series rally.
A-Rod now just skywriting his number to all single women in New York
A-Rod paid an undisclosed sum to "Ralph Salvatore's Skywriters" for them to spell out, through the exhaust of their planes, his phone number along with the message, "A-Rods Digits, 4 Real, Hit Me Up Ladys!"
Red Sox GM to be tested for ‘reality-altering narcotics’ after Ortiz signing
Ortiz was being discussed as a trade option earlier this year when he went down with an Achilles strain, but this abrupt change of thinking has led to many to demand Red Sox GM Ben Cherington be tested for drugs.
After another bad Mark Sanchez performance, Rex Ryan annoints him ‘Starter for Life’
"First, let me just say that we expect more out of Mark," he said. "That's why I'm making him our 'Starter for Life.' We believe if we give the kid a few more decades, he could really turn heads in this league."
Comatose Bettman mistaken for zombie, stabbed in head
The injury, oddly, had almost no effect on Bettman, who is expected to recover fully. After the pencil was removed, much of the shrapnel remained in the victim’s head, but, according to doctors, this hasn’t yet affected his normal state.
