Big East to add Hamburger University, Clown College, and the School of Rock
The question remains whether the Big East realizes that these are not actual institutions of higher learning with athletic programs, but their interest in them should be of no surprise – it’s money.
NFL promotes Sunday night Cowboys-Eagles game as ‘2012 Irrelevance Bowl’
"Well, I had to throw Philly a bone and give them a game in prime time they could win," he said. "Plus it gives us a new game to market. With any luck, the 2012 Irrelevance Bowl will be at least twice as popular as the 2012 Pro Bowl."
Bettman responds to criticism and threats by puffing-out like a blowfish
Experts speculate that the spikes are normally hidden beneath Bettman’s cheap suits, ready to display whenever his species feels cornered.
Jets lineman to IR with butt injury after boneheaded Mark Sanchez play
"Whether or not he needs a colostomy remains to be seen," Whitman said. "We are also running tests to see if Mark is suffering from concussion problems after the play."
NHL cancels holidays, month of December, passing of year
“If we’re going to get serious about playing hockey in 2012, this ticking of time thing has got to stop,” said Bettman. “I decree it perpetually November 21 until further notice.”
“How Gronk broke?” a bewildered Rob Gronkowski asks team doctors
"How Gronk broke? What this Gronk feel?" a clearly agitated Gronkowski was seen asking team physicians while in the Patriots locker room. "Gronk no like. Gronk want porn girl! Picture time! Picture time!"
Mets-sent ‘Dickey Extension’ email turns out to be erectile dysfunction spam
“We were had,” stated Ted Bender, a higher up in the Mets’ PR department. “I told them not to use this two-bit company, but they insisted. You’d be shocked what the bosses would do to save a few bucks.”
