Patriots debunk Bill Nye The Science Guy’s theory by stuffing him in locker
After the New England Patriots declared they didn't alter their footballs in any manner and attributed the fluctuations in pressure to cold temperatures, skeptics pounced. One such individual was Bill Nye, noted thermal engineering expert and all-around creepy genius, who claimed that the explanation given by the Patriots was an absolute scientific impossibility.
Seahawks publicly inject steroids in failed effort to get media’s attention
"It seems like all anybody cares about is scandal and cheating," said Seahawks QB Russell Wilson. "So, we decided to invent a little drama of our own by injecting ourselves with steroids during Wednesday's press conference. Unfortunately, the needles just reminded the reporters of air pumps, and they decided to ask us how we felt about the whole 'DeflateGate' thing."
All 11 deflated footballs called to testify before Congress
The mood on Capitol Hill was somber Friday afternoon. A bipartisan committee of high-ranking officials from the Senate and the House demanded answers, and clearly there are no bigger priorities right now for our nation’s highly compensated public servants.
Bill Belichick to unveil exciting new cheating methods for Super Bowl
"Oh, if you thought that the deflated balls were something, you ain't seen nothing yet," an unusually eager Belichick told reporters. "Like, and I'm just spitballing here, you know how receivers wear gloves? I know the guy that supplies the gloves. I could try filling the Seahawks' gloves with nicotine patches."
Belichick fires ball boy for failing to deflate 1 of 12 balls
ESPN reported Tuesday night that 11 of the Patriots' 12 balls were deflated for Sunday's AFC Championship against the Colts, which has Bill Belichick in a tizzy. The surly New England coach promptly fired...
All scoring and non-scoring plays to be automatically reviewed during Super Bowl
"In addition to getting every call right, it will also provide much-needed stoppage time for players to rest, advertisers to advertise and fans to get snacks or use the restroom," said Goodell. "Everybody wins. Plus, we can now bill the Super Bowl as a two-day event, which is sure to excite people. If four hours of football is good, then 36 hours is better, right?"
Patriots and Seahawks a ‘dream match-up,’ says NFL’s most obnoxious fan
Greerson, who also is known for going into work on Mondays saying, "Cheer up everyone, we got a whole week ahead of us!" said that he likes the Seahawks "because they won last year, and Pete Carroll seems like a guy I'd like to get a beer with," but added that "Bill Belichick is probably my favorite coach out there, and that Tom Brady sure is handsome!"
