Carlos Beltran Mole Day cancelled at Citi Field
Fans expecting a free gift at the Sept. 20 Mets game against Milwaukee will leave Citi Field empty handed now that Carlos Beltran has been dealt to the Giants. The Mets announced today they will cancel the giveaway celebrating the former center fielder’s famous growth.
Exotic dance industry breathes sigh of relief as NFL lockout comes to an end
“We were all hurting,” said a dancer named Sapphire as she shimmied down a pole. “Not only were we not getting guys in the champagne room, we couldn’t even get tips on the floor. Girls were going hungry. We thought we were going to have to go back to playing in the Lingerie Football League.”
Terrelle Pryor seeking free cars, other benefits from NJ businesses to join Jets or...
“I’ve narrowed my choice to a few teams in the AFC East and NFC East. I consider the San Francisco Metro area a dark-horse. Of course, Dallas came in with a strong push,” said Pryor, who is now sporting a new, complimentary “Tressel Can Lick My Balls”-tattoo from Fort Worth Ink and Piercing.
Paul DePodesta takes credit for Jonah Hill’s weight loss
When it was announced the bestselling book “Moneyball” would be adapted into a major motion picture, Mets front office staffer Paul DePodesta was beside himself with excitement until he learned a heavyset actor was playing his role.
Selig lets Mets sneak into NL Central while no one is looking
Earlier this week, it was reported the Mets were looking to trade off their entire roster, but with the team now thrust into a playoff race, those plans have been tossed out of the window.
Posada destroys Yankees clubhouse after misinformed brawl with Girardi
Jorge Posada is responsible for over $20,000 worth of damage to the Yankees clubhouse Tuesday after a spat with manager Joe Girardi fueled by the insecure DH's misinformed eavesdropping.
Indians trade top prospect to New York for $24 worth of beads
The Indians sent top Triple-A prospect Peter Minuit to the Yankees yesterday in exchange for $24 of beads, pelts and “clay pots to be named later.”
