Eli Manning dons Mets gear at Citi Field, promptly tears ACL, MCL
Eli Manning was honored over the weekend as "Most Valuable Dad" at Citi Field in a Father's Day tribute. The Mets brought in the two-time champion in the hopes he would help generate some...
MLB gives Mets Dickey’s no-hitter, 2000 World Series title
MLB changed that to an error on Wright this afternoon, and then gave the Mets the 2000 “Subway” World Series title while riding its momentum. The latter move was made primarily to stick it to the Yankees, whom Manhattanites can’t stand.
Naked guy in locker room overshadows Santana no-hitter
“It wasn’t me!” said Mets star, David Wright adamantly. “I’d never do anything to overshadow Johan’s performance … and if you look closely, that dude isn’t overshadowing anybody.”
Mets get their 10,000th no-hitter; first by one of their own pitchers
"This club is no stranger to remarkable pitching performances," said GM Sandy Alderson. "Over the years, we've been no-hit a total of 9,999 times. You could almost say the team is built to be humiliated like that."
Sold out Citi Field crowd turns out to be flash mob
“It was corny,” said Mets second baseman Daniel Murphy. “Seriously, I still don’t know what the heck happened. I think I heard them chant ‘Geico’ or something. Was that what it was?”
Prospective Mets investors jump ship after rumors of Yankees sale
“This is the difference between Heinz Ketchup and Hunt’s Catsup,” said one interested buyer. “It probably would have taken me 20 years to turn a profit on the Mets. With the Yanks I’ll be swimming in gold coins in two years, Scrooge McDuck style.”
AARP emerges as potential buyer of Yankees
Even though a potential deal is far from coming to fruition, it makes perfect sense for both parties. AARP makes its money by trying to make the lives of retired people better and the Yankees make their money by selling fans tickets to see old, washed-up, overpaid, and useless players who should probably be playing chess or shuffleboard instead of baseball.
