Yankees

In what seemed to be inevitable, Mets shortstop Jose Reyes signed a six-year, $102 million contract with the Miami Marlins. Mets' GM Sandy Alderson came clean late Sunday night, admitting he completely forgot free agent signing season had begun.

“I was kicking back with a few cold ones and one of my pies just after the season ended, and I noticed one of Mo’s bobbleheads on the counter," he said. "I set it in motion, and it moved so fluidly -- just like Mo’s delivery -- and the gears started turning.”

There’s a new A-Rod in town and his name is Aaron Rodgers. Alex Rodriguez has been legally forced to stop calling himself by his famous moniker, after a judge awarded the trademark to the Super Bowl champion QB.

On the heels of another dismal post-season at the plate, New York right fielder Nick Swisher offered assurances to Yankee fans concerned with the club's puzzling move to exercise his $10.5 million option for 2012.

"This was a no-brainer," said Yankees GM Brian Cashman. "The inactive roster poses a challenge to any professional athlete, and Carl has already demonstrated that he is uniquely capable of dealing with the pressures of inactive roster occupancy. He's also intimately familiar with the hospitals in the New York metropolitan area."

Many professional athletes have deferred money for the good of their team, but Alex Rodriguez just took things to a whole new level. Rodriguez, once called a “selfish 24+1 player,” proved just the opposite today when he came to terms on a five-year, $100 million contract with star free agent Jose Reyes.

“Well played, fundamentally sound teams are boring. They’re boring,” said one self-proclaimed New York die-hard. “What the heck am I supposed to call the radio and moan about? The Yankees pitching staff?”