New York

"Without question, the Cubs chances at a World Series victory by 2095 have now improved ever so slightly," said ESPN baseball analyst Jayson Stark.

Egged on by the raucous New York crowd, the man flailed his arms and turned around in circles for several minutes on the infield, while those in the stands screamed out unintelligible chants which sounded like "Bah-bah-bah" and "So-good, so-good, so-good."

"I want Harvey and Wheeler to gain major league experience without being injured while we remain noncompetitive," Collins said. "Their respective starts will be on this upcoming Tuesday and Wednesday and again in late September."

“Once again, ESPN has broken new ground in sports programming,” said a network spokesperson. “The interest in these two teams is overwhelming among the only demographic that counts, the northeast United States.”

Tim Tebow has just been cut from the Jets and his agent's phone has been ringing off the hook ever since. But it is not NFL teams that are calling to recruit the controversial quarterback. It is reality television producers calling to pitch show ideas to the failed football star. Some ideas coming from some not so regular reality outlets.

A tearful Tebow told reporters at a farewell press conference, “While I’m sorry to leave the Jets, I look forward to being with my new Sin teammates and the challenge of the Lingerie-brand of pro football.”

More than a year-and-a-half since him and Kim Kardashian separated, and just days after their divorce was finalized, the Brooklyn Nets’ Kris Humphries torched the Chicago Bulls for career highs of 56 points and 22 rebounds along with 12 blocked shots in a first-round playoff game.