New York Islanders actually a federal witness protection program
Due to the recent cutbacks in government funding, the Department of Justice revealed that it must reduce WITSEC (The Federal Witness Protection Program), most notably by disbanding the New York Islanders.
Yankees announce more Jeter milestones in hopes he’ll once again rise to occasion
“Did you know the all-time record of 2-out base hits against an American League team located in Illinois is 17?” asked manager Joe Girardi. “And our leadoff batter is just two clutch hits away from surpassing that mark.”
Brewers worried K-Rod may wreak havoc on fans’ fragile, clogged hearts
Brewers manager Ron Roenicke announced today that newly acquired Francisco Rodriguez will be setting up John Axford for the remainder of the season. He was cryptic in his reasoning, but it is believed he made the decision with overweight fans in mind.
Roger Clemens celebrates mistrial with cool, refreshing glass of HGH
"Now that I get a break from all this legal stress, nothing satisfies my thirst better than a good old-fashioned glass of HGH, just like Brian McNamee used to make," the retired pitcher told reporters.
Every active player named to MLB All-Star team
Not only will the stands at Arizona’s Chase Field be filled to capacity this Tuesday, but so will the dugouts. Bud Selig announced today that every active player in baseball is on call for the Midsummer Classic.
Jeter marks 3,000 with HR, immediately inks shoe, book, movie, music and reality deals,...
The celebration over Derek Jeter’s historic three-thousand-hit milestone was cut short when Jeter abruptly left the stadium in the seventh inning holding a fist-full of checks.
New Yorkers question ‘alternative marriage’ when Yankees fan marries Red Sox fan
A Yankees fan club known as “The Swanky Yankees” is protesting the legalization of gay marriage, after it was revealed that a Yankees fan had married a Red Sox fan on the day of the law’s enactment.
