A-Rod claims he only goes to gambling parties because they’re a great place to...
“I’m not interested in throwing my life away for a stupid game,” said Rodriguez. “It’s true that I went to some of these parties, but I didn’t go there to play poker. I went to those parties because they’re a great place to score drugs and get laid.”
A-Rod accused of being overrated poker player
“Every time he got aces, he yelled ‘A-Bombs for A-Rod!’ to the entire table,” said self-proclaimed top poker player in the world, Phil Hellmuth. “He was easier to read than a children’s book.”
NYPD raises threat alert to red after Plaxico signs with Jets
Earlier this week, the NYPD officially raised their threat alert to the heightened red level when they learned that Plaxico Burress signed with the Jets and will remain in the New York area.
Eli Manning reports to camp after unfortunately returning from African charity trip unscathed
“Don’t me wrong, he’s still a top 25 quarterback,” said one fan who called into Mike Francesa's radio show on the Fan. “But, would I have been upset if he missed the rest of his career due to a tragic mauling while doing good works in Africa? Ehhh. Probably not.”
Carlos Beltran Mole Day cancelled at Citi Field
Fans expecting a free gift at the Sept. 20 Mets game against Milwaukee will leave Citi Field empty handed now that Carlos Beltran has been dealt to the Giants. The Mets announced today they will cancel the giveaway celebrating the former center fielder’s famous growth.
Exotic dance industry breathes sigh of relief as NFL lockout comes to an end
“We were all hurting,” said a dancer named Sapphire as she shimmied down a pole. “Not only were we not getting guys in the champagne room, we couldn’t even get tips on the floor. Girls were going hungry. We thought we were going to have to go back to playing in the Lingerie Football League.”
Terrelle Pryor seeking free cars, other benefits from NJ businesses to join Jets or...
“I’ve narrowed my choice to a few teams in the AFC East and NFC East. I consider the San Francisco Metro area a dark-horse. Of course, Dallas came in with a strong push,” said Pryor, who is now sporting a new, complimentary “Tressel Can Lick My Balls”-tattoo from Fort Worth Ink and Piercing.
