New York

"With New York out of the picture, we have determined that the rest of the post-season is simply not fiscally viable," said Fox Sports spokesperson, Stacey Cooper. "We've informed [MLB commissioner] Bud Selig of our decision and he has, understandably, consented."

"It is just disgusting that we lost to these bums," said Rodriguez. "Their payroll is only $100 million. What is this, 1999? Talk about living below the poverty line. They can't even afford personal assistants for their batboys."

“I invented the All Defense Offense,” Ryan declared. “I won a Super Bowl ring with the All Defense Offense. I made it work in Baltimore, and I can make it work here."

"Earlier this week I said Justin was done for the series, but that was before we gave up 10 runs Tuesday night," said Leyland. "He's all we've got right now so we're going to win or lose this thing by riding on Justin's arm."

CC Sabathia and the Yankees are one game away from elimination, and CC Sabathia only has himself and a fictional naval commander to blame for it. During a post-game interview Monday night, a box of Peanut Butter Crunch, was visible in the hefty hurler’s locker, which led to his tearful admission that he was back on the Cap’n Crunch wagon.

Mike Piazza was curiously on hand with the Marlins when they closed out their season last week despite playing only five games with the franchise back in 1998. Piazza later confirmed his reason for visiting Sun Life Stadium was to announce that should he be elected to the Hall of Fame when eligible in 2012, he will enter as a Marlin.

When asked about his especially bad red zone calls or his irrational propensity to dial up crazy deep passing plays to receivers in double-coverage, Schottenheimer chuckled.