Mets’ Pelfrey attacked at Occupy Wall Street after trying to hand out signed baseballs
“I politely said no, but he still handed me a ball,” said protestor Conrad Hoss. “I checked what they were going for on eBay, and when I saw $3, I threw it back at him. The crowd followed my lead.”
Mets create revenue by selling players’ names to advertisers
“Always read the fine print,” said Ross Gold, Mets lawyer. “Once a contract is signed, the team owns the player’s name for the extent of the deal. There’s nothing unconstitutional or against the law going down here.”
Kenny Williams’ son fulfills family dream of derailing two franchises in one year
After fumbling a pair of punt returns to seal an NFC Championship loss to the Giants, 49ers WR Kyle Williams joined his father, White Sox GM Kenny, by derailing a franchise for the second time in less than a year.
Ike Davis to wear peg leg this season
“I’m still getting used to it,” Davis said. “It feels okay, but I’m still trying to improve my speed, because with Murphy at second, it’s on me to basically cover the entire right side of the infield.”
Montero refuses trade to Seattle, joins Peace Corps instead
“I really, really tried to look on the bright side,” Montero insisted. “I mean, Seattle’s not Kansas City, not Cleveland. Still, it didn’t help. Besides, you need a rocket launcher to get a ball out of Safeco. I had to follow my heart.”
Justin Tuck adds six more bars to his facemask for NFC Championship
"I'm not even going to use my hands on Sunday," he said. "I'm just going to smash offensive linemen and running backs with my killer grill. Hey ... that's a pretty good idea! I'm also going to use my facemask as a tailgating grill before the game."
Knicks broadcasts to feature laugh track
“Our research showed that most people painfully laugh while watching our guys play anyway,” said MSG’s head of programming, Greg Hollander. “So why not make it seem like the terrible play is intentional?”
