New York

"I'm excited to bring St. Nash to the top of the league and bring this community, and myself, a championship," D'Antoni said at his introductory team meeting, held in the basement of starting point guard Tommy Antholin.

"You know, with this Mets team you never expect them to score any runs, especially by hitting a ball over the fence for automatic runs," Mr. Capozzi said from his hospital bed. "After Duda's second homer, and the team's third of the game, I was so shocked and surprised that my body couldn't take it anymore."

"It was actually an easier decision than you might think," GM Brian Cashman said Sunday. "Because we lost both games of the first 1/81st portion of the season, we can't come back and become a successful playoff team come October. I mean, if this team doesn't win every single game of every season, then there is no reason to think we can be good."

With the Dodgers selling for a record $2 billion, now would be a great time for Fred Wilpon to take offers on the Mets. Taking a page out of Magic Johnson’s book, former Knick Larry Johnson has already put together a group of investors in hopes of buying the Amazins for $2 million.

The Mets locked down the batboy for $16 million over 12 years in a strategic signing by wily owner Fred Wilpon.

Quarterback Tim Tebow is a Jet, and New York will never be the same.

“He hit it well, so good for him,” Pettitte recalled. “Then he pulled an Ortiz, so I gave him a closer look at the next pitch.”