Naked guy in locker room overshadows Santana no-hitter
“It wasn’t me!” said Mets star, David Wright adamantly. “I’d never do anything to overshadow Johan’s performance … and if you look closely, that dude isn’t overshadowing anybody.”
Mets get their 10,000th no-hitter; first by one of their own pitchers
"This club is no stranger to remarkable pitching performances," said GM Sandy Alderson. "Over the years, we've been no-hit a total of 9,999 times. You could almost say the team is built to be humiliated like that."
Sold out Citi Field crowd turns out to be flash mob
“It was corny,” said Mets second baseman Daniel Murphy. “Seriously, I still don’t know what the heck happened. I think I heard them chant ‘Geico’ or something. Was that what it was?”
Prospective Mets investors jump ship after rumors of Yankees sale
“This is the difference between Heinz Ketchup and Hunt’s Catsup,” said one interested buyer. “It probably would have taken me 20 years to turn a profit on the Mets. With the Yanks I’ll be swimming in gold coins in two years, Scrooge McDuck style.”
Mets force their relievers to shag flies in hopes they injure themselves like Mariano
The Mets never learn. Just a few days after Mariano Rivera tore his ACL roving the outfield in batting practice, the Mets made it mandatory for their relief core to shag flies before every game.
Mets officially change team name to Same Old Mets
After a recent doubleheader against the Giants in which the Mets were swept, losing both games by a combined 13-3 score, the team has officially changed its 50 year-old moniker to "Same Old Mets" in order to embrace what fans are saying about the team right now.
Mets games viewed as unsafe for young children due to terrible play
In a controversial decision handed down to the New York Mets late on Thursday, the Entertainment Rating Association of America (ERAA) has ruled that Mets games are actually hazardous for the development of young children who go to the ballpark and watch the games.
